Monday, May 17, 2010

Mother's Day Coda

I spent hours on Mother's Day thinking about my role in my stepdaughter's life. I was wondering why us stepmoms even put ourselves through the nervous anticipation of this day on our annual calendar. Finally I came to the conclusion that i am ok with being an afterthought on Mother's Day, because I can't possibly expect my bonus daughter to value me as much as she values her Biomom.

And then I read through other stepmom posts recounting their Mother's Days. One thing that stood out for me, is the deep gratitude for every friendly word and for every small gesture of appreciation that came our way on Mother's Day - from our spouses, the bonus kids, and some even from the Biomoms! We didn't all get appreciated by all three of the above parties -but we'll take as little as we can get.

Most of us stepmoms, we just want a kernel of recognition for our efforts and our good intentions. Mother's Day offers us this little glimmer of hope that we might be shown some tangible token of appreciation, much like Valentine's Day for couples. We just want to be recognized for our efforts and love and sweat equity and the restraint that we so often have to show in dealing with Biomoms, stepkids and our spouses.

On Monday evening,the day after Mother's Day, I arrived home from work. I didn't have any expectations, but there it was, a card that came in the mail. A Happy Mother's Day card.

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